This post when I first wrote it was a back to school thing but when I got to the end butts just seemed like a way more interesting topic.
BUTTS. You use them to sit, shit, have sexy times, and occasionally to insult with. I wanna focus on the last one because there's only so much to write about sitting, writing about poop is gross, and I don't know anything about butt sex.
One way you can insult using butts is by showing them your butt. Lets say there's this person who is grossed out by butts. The farting, the pooping, the butt sex, whatever. So you drive by their place with a fellow butt lover, pull your pants down, press those pale mountains against the window, and honk that horn. Show that butt hater what they're missing
You can also insult people with butts by calling them one. Someone is trying to claw at you with their wolverine claws.
"You're being a butt right now man. Put those claws away."
Done! The claws are away and no one has been offended because butt is not an offensive word. If you were to use the other F word, the N word, or other derogatory words then someone would be offended. But butt can be used by everyone because everyone has one
I've always had my moms butt. Which is not a good thing because its like two slices of wonder bread in pants. I had a Hank Hill butt. It seems like it happened over night, I don't know how it's an August miracle, I have sprouted ass. I'm super sore and waddling like a penguin but its all worth it.♥
This post has been brought to you by BUTTS. They look great and its a great insult. BUTTS! For your health.
P.S. I just really like butts.
